The Lord Looks on the Heart

Filling out a developmental checklist at a well-visit for my 18-month-old child with Down syndrome reminds me of taking a test and not knowing any of the answers. I kind of stare blankly at the form unsure of what to circle. I bring my pencil to the paper. Take it away from the paper. Bring it back. No, take it away. I keep watching the door, scared the doctor is going to pick up my paper before I've had a chance to reason with my answers. I second guess. I panic I’m going to fail.

"Does your child have a few words?"

Does "buh" count? I mean, I think he made that sound last week while holding a book, so totally.

"Does your child walk?"

We're finally getting the hang of this unassisted sitting thing, so that's kind of the same, right? No?

"List any concerns about your child's learning, development and behavior."

All of the concerns. May I write on the back?

Elliot loves to make faces.

Analogies aside, I have truthfully come to accept Elliot's delays. I used to fret for days over these checklists, but now I have made peace with his timeline. I know he will walk and talk when he's ready, so the forms don't bother me because he's missing milestones. They bother me because they are only a snapshot of Elliot's abilities.

In 1 Samuel 16:7, the Bible tells us, "The Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

This verse has become the verse that I pray over Elliot. There is so much truth packed into those words. He might not look or act like a typical 18-month-old, but what does his heart look like?

He might not drink out of a straw cup. He might not stack blocks. He might not eat table food. But, Elliot makes friends with everyone he meets. He smiles from the depths of his heart. He educates those around him at all times just by being himself. He is a living reminder of what matters to God. God doesn't see Down syndrome when he looks at Elliot. God sees a sweet boy with a pure heart made in his image.

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control," says Galatians 5:22-23. Elliot's life so far has been a testimony of these attributes and he gives his parents a lesson in this everyday.

So while filling out the developmental form might feel similar to that dreaded test I was unprepared for, the results are completely different. Instead of walking away with that sinking feeling of failure, I can walk away with the confidence that there is so much more to this little boy's story.