Words of advice to my 18-year-old self on my 30th birthday.
Dear Melinda,
Hey! It’s me! I mean… it’s you! Happy birthday! Wow, 18. Can
you believe it? You just got your acceptance letter to Baylor. You’re smack dab
in the middle of Madrigal season. Your friends are throwing you and Amy a
birthday party tonight. You’ve got the world on a string.
Right now your biggest concern is your outfit for tonight
and if they remembered to buy the big sparkly candles for the cake. And you
know what? That’s OK! You’re a kid… you shouldn’t have to worry about much more
than that.
You’re probably thinking, “Yikes! 30! I’m so sorry about how
old and ancient you are.” Well, while I definitely have more gray hairs and
random aches that I care to admit, I’m not old… OK, I’m not THAT old and I have
a learned a thing or two in these first 30 years. I thought I’d share some advice
and insight on what’s in store for you! Get ready… the next 12 years are going
to be good to you!
- In a few months you are going to try out for a solo for pop show and get only one night instead of the two you think you deserve. #firstworldproblems. Oh, you don’t know what a hashtag is yet… Basically, get over it! There are starving children in Africa! Take your one night and rock it. Besides, you give up the music major thing in like two seconds once you get to college. It’s totally fine.
- Don’t waste your freshman year of college. Meet people. Go places. Study. Pray. Repeat. Sounds like common sense, but you’ll be reluctant to do these things because you will be heartbroken. Spoiler alert: your boyfriend is going to break up with you over the summer. And no, you don’t get back together and get married despite what happens three years from now. But that’s OK, because four years from now you are going to be in Brett Walker’s truck in the parking lot of Mezzanine Lounge (not as fancy as it sounds) waiting to leave and some guy is going to hop into the passenger seat and introduce himself. He will be what we call a game-changer, an answer to prayer, a knight in shining armor. No, it’s not Matt Damon or Nick Carter, but don’t worry, he’s still really hot and will become your rock in life.
- Learn to say, “no.” This will save you from a painfully awkward date your freshmen year of college, taking a job you don’t want and probably even the hypertension you’ll be diagnosed with in ten years.
- Do not let Amy and Jessie give you “Christina Aguilera” highlights in the summer of 2005. Disaster waiting to happen.
- Be patient when it comes to your career. You’re going to be sitting at your college graduation silently freaking out in your head because you don’t have a job. It’s OK. You will get two offers on the same day three weeks from now and you’re going to leave the one you pick in about six months for what you think is your dream job. You actually won’t have your real dream job for another ten years from now. That job will change your life and your outlook on youth. You’ll also leave this job in only two years to be a stay-at-home mom. I know, right? Not you! Yes, you. It’s cool; trust me. So, again, just be patient and take life as it comes.
- You will be invited to go on a river trip in the summer of 2007. Don’t go. But if you choose to ignore my warning, for the love of Pete please buy the strongest sun block you can find and just lather that stuff on like every 30 minutes.
- On New Year’s Eve 2007, you will be asked to housesit. Just do yourself a favor and put the key on your key ring. Not only will you save a ton of money on a locksmith, but you’ll be able to go out to ring in the new year instead of pacing back and forth on the driveway panicking about how your friend’s dog is assuredly peeing everywhere inside.
- On your honeymoon, just skip tropical drink night. You’ve been forewarned.
- You will fondly look back on New Year's Eve 2010 as your favorite of all time. It will be a weekend to remember for sure with friends you love so much. That's why you can't let anyone eat at Bill Miller. Stay away.
- Be content in those first years of marriage. You’re going to have a beautiful wedding and you are going to be so in love with your new husband, but all too quickly you will stop getting distracted by your wedding ring as your hand rests on the steering wheel. Your cozy apartment in the city that you found so charming is going to start to feel cramped. The sound of your new last name won’t be as exciting. You’re going to be ready for a house. Then soon after a dog. Then soon after a baby. All of these steps are big and wonderful, but just don’t forget to enjoy the step you are on. You will never get those days back so drink up those quiet days as a new wife.
- When you have your first child, don’t freak out about how much she cries. People are going say, “Oh, she must have colic,” or “Maybe it’s reflux.” You’re going to spend a lot of nights crying to yourself about how she won’t sleep and you’re going to obsessively Google, “my baby cries constantly.” And, guess what. Your daughter is just a crier… A stubborn, willful little firecracker in pig tails that challenges you daily and you are a better person for her. So, when she’s a tiny baby that cries all night, just hold her close. You will be surprised how quickly that time goes and how much you will actually miss those late nights (or should I say early mornings?) when all she wanted was to sleep in your arms.
- You and Kim are going to go to a standing room only Backstreet Boys concert in December of 2013. Yes, Nick Carter is still ridiculously hot, but the moral here is: do not underestimate overaged teenyboppers. You get there early and be ready to fight for your way to the front!
- In 2014, your second baby will arrive. Your pregnancy is going to be rough. His birth will be early. He’s going to need much more care than you anticipated. But despite all of that, your heart is going to be so full of joy and love every time your eyes lock, every time you wake to his happy babbles, every time his hand wraps around your finger. He’s going to smile with his entire body and it will melt you into a big puddle. He’s going to teach you that God’s plan is greater than your own. He’s going to show those around you what love really means. So, when it comes time for his birth, it’s OK to process your feelings. It’s OK to be confused. Just take comfort in the fact that God doesn’t make mistakes and that this little boy is going to change your heart for the better.
So there you have it. Nothing crazy monumental and most of
these you come to on your own. Have a great birthday! Maybe I’ll write another
letter to you on your 30th birthday in 12 years. I’ll definitely be old then!
Love,
Melinda
PS – Your friends DO get you and Amy the big sparkly candles
tonight! Yes!
