33 Weeks & Thankful for my Husband :)

We made it to 33 weeks today! I'm so thankful that Elliot is still in there baking away trying to grow as much as he can. Remember, the doctors are saying 34 weeks is our goal, so we are almost at the finish line!

I don't have any real updates today. It's just been more of the same, which is a good thing. So I thought I'd take the time to brag on my husband. If you're anything like me, when you picked your spouse, you had all of these images of all of these happy, blissful times. On my wedding day, I was imagining years ahead of summer vacations at the beach, children opening Christmas presents among the twinkling lights, our future little girl dancing on Justin's toes... I was picturing all of the "better" and "health" part of our vows and none of the "worse" and "sickness" part. 

But God never says our lives will be perfect, does he? We can look at Job to see that. Now, don't get me wrong. Through all of this I still feel extremely blessed, but I would be lying if I said the past couple of weeks haven't been hard. As I've said before, the hardest part is being away from my family. There is something so comforting about lying my head down next to Justin every night, so going to sleep alone among the hospital sounds has been quite the adjustment.

But Justin has handled all of this like a pro. I have no idea how he is balancing work, taking care of a toddler and making sure I have everything I need, but he is. Through it all he has managed to make sure I see Adele whenever I can and on the nights they can't make it up here, he is sure to FaceTime. When he visits, he brings up clean clothes and takes home the dirty ones. He brings me watermelon and KitKat bars and catches me up on life outside of the hospital. Since I'm the one that typically handles taking care of Adele, he's had to quickly take charge of dinner time, bath time and bed time and he's doing it wonderfully. And how can we forget he has a demanding full-time job on top of all this? Thankfully his work has been incredibly flexible during this time, but Justin being Justin hasn't taken much advantage of this... even bringing his laptop to the hospital if he comes to see me for lunch.

I see everything he's doing for our family and I thank God that Justin came into my life. I thank God that while I was thinking of decorating my future house and baking cookies with my future kids, God sent me a man that would that not only take care of me during the happy times, but the hard times as well.

I know this hasn't been easy on him, but Justin has taken it all in stride. He's reminded me everyday that I'm in here why I fell in love with him and why I love him more every day. So, to wrap things up... thank you Justin for being such an incredible husband and awesome dad! I'm so grateful that Elliot will have a Godly example of what a husband and father should look like. I truly thank God for you everyday and pray for your continued strength through this. I can't wait until I get to be your little spoon again! 

32 Weeks & 4 Days!

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." - Ecclesiastes 3:11

Dr. Adam knocked on my door at 6:30 a.m. to wheel me down to the ultrasound. They weren't kidding when they said she'd see me first thing in the morning. Regardless I was glad to see what was going on with Elliot!

The blood flow from placenta to baby is holding steady at the not great, but not scary stage, so we're happy about that. As promised they checked his growth and as they expected he's falling off of his growth pattern. He was in the 23rd percentile two weeks ago; this morning he was in the 15th and weighs 3 pounds and 4 ounces.

So what does this mean? It pretty much solidifies their earlier estimate of a c-section at 34 weeks. They will do another growth scan on Monday, July 7 (I'll be 34 weeks and one day) and if he's dropped to the 10th percentile or below, they will most likely do the c-section the following morning. My doctor said that based on their experience, they fully expect him to be at or below the 10th percentile. She added that he could always surprise us, but that I should probably mentally prepare myself for it to happen that week.

In the meantime, I'm to continue doing what I'm doing, which as you know is a fine balance between napping on my left side and watching TV. But seriously, the hospital has been great. No real complaints other than I miss my family!

Justin and I again want to thank everyone for their continued prayers! It's been a whirlwind for sure, but we've appreciated all the help. I've also enjoyed all of my visitors... I don't know what I'd do if I was all by lonesome every day! If you are praying for us, please keep it up! It's working! We are realistically expecting to have him that week of July 7, so while we would welcome a surprise, we're really praying for peace with the doctor's decision, a healthy delivery and hopefully a short NICU stay.

Again, thanks for all of your well wishes and we'll keep you posted!

32-Week Mark :)

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

We have successfully made it to the 32-week mark today! Dr. Adam (the perinatologist) did another ultrasound yesterday and everything looks stable - not any better, but not any worse, which keeps me on the 34-week delivery goal she's set. Meanwhile little Elliot's heart rate continues to show no signs of dips when they do the monitoring, which is great news. Dr. Adam is going to do another ultrasound on Wednesday to check the placenta flow again, but also this will be the first time she'll focus on Elliot's growth since it will have been almost two weeks since the initial scan that put me in the hospital. During that scan he was only 2 pounds, 15 ounces, which put him in the 23rd percentile. It's important that he stays on that growth pattern because if they see a significant drop on Wednesday's scan (meaning he's not getting the nutrients he needs to grow) that can be another factor for an early c-section.

The days at the hospital are passing quicker than I anticipated they would. I'm getting into a routine of eat, watch TV, play with my phone, read a book, nap, heart rate monitoring. The nurses and doctors at Women's Hospital have been amazing. I can't imagine going through this at any other hospital! That being said, I've really been struggling emotionally the past couple of days. I sit here looking at a calendar and realize how much longer I have to go without tucking in Adele at night and waking up next to Justin with Macy somehow having pushed me off my pillow in the middle of night. Today my sister had her baby and it pains me that I'm not up at the hospital with her.

I just really miss my life. I'm getting tired of having them having to take my blood pressure every four hours and asking me if I've pooped today, lol. I've cried every day I've been here. I realize the longer Elliot is inside of me the better, but that fact doesn't make it any easier to feel so disconnected from my family and friends. I just pray for patience during my hospital stay and that the time continues to pass quickly.

OK, end of pity party :)

I used Romans 12:12 at the beginning of this post because I feel that it perfectly reflects this moment in my life. I am so joyful in the hope that Elliot is going to be born at 34+ weeks and that he's going to be such a fighter when born. I am (trying to be) patient while staying at the hospital for at least two more weeks. I pray faithfully and continuously every day for Elliot's growth, my health and Justin's strength while we wait on Elliot's arrival.

I will try to update after my ultrasound on Wednesday. Until then thanks for all of your prayers and thoughts you've sent our way! Justin and I have felt them for sure :)

31 Weeks, 3 Days

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." - Psalm 138:7-8

I found these verses to be extremely comforting today. When you look up the word preserve it means to keep alive or in existence; make lasting; to keep safe from harm or injury; protect or spare. And it hit me, God is the preserver of my life and of Elliot's! With the news we got last night, it's evident that God is continuously working on Elliot, making him stronger every day... preserving him every moment of the day, keeping him safe from harm or injury. He has a purpose for this moment in our lives and how truly wonderful it is to know that this is in God's hands.

Today I am 31 weeks, 3 days pregnant and I'm happy to report we received some great news last night! The perinatologist did a scan yesterday evening to check to see if the bedrest is doing anything for my placenta. Before she said anything else, she said, "There's something magical about bedrest." I'll never forget those words! She went on to explain that the blood flow from placenta to baby was much improved. Not improved enough for me to go home (not going to ever be an option with my condition), but improved enough that sweet Elliot gets to stay inside a little longer! She also was very impressed by the fact that he had no dips in his heart rate as of yet and said, "Look at this little trooper." I'm already such a proud mom!

Because of the good report, they were able to move me off of the labor & delivery floor and into the ante partum section. They also took the IV out and instead of continuous heart rate monitoring for Elliot, they've moved to intermittent monitoring. All of that means... I'm not hooked up to machines 24/7 anymore, yay! She's also hopeful that I can make it to 34 weeks, which is great news.

First and foremost, Justin and I want to let everyone know that we have felt your prayers. It has been such an emotional time for us and to know so many have been praying for us has been such a comfort through the whole ordeal. We do ask that you continue praying. While all of this is good news, we are not out of the woods and we are still more than likely looking at a preterm birth any way you slice it. Also, living in the hospital for three plus weeks is going to be really hard as you all can imagine. I miss my Adele more than I can even begin to explain. It's so hard not to tuck her in every night. Justin's been bringing her up for dinner, but I cry every time they leave. Please pray that the next few weeks go by quickly and fruitfully for our family. Also, continue to pray for our medical team... that they will ultimately make the right call on when to bring Elliot into this world.

Again, thanks for all your prayers and we'll continue to update as we know more.

31 Weeks and Holding

"He made me a polished arrow; in his quiver he hid me away." - Isaiah 49:2

That is the Bible verse that we centered Elliot's nursery around. His blanket has teepees on it. The walls have arrows. His mobile is a dreamcatcher adorned with feathers. It has all turned out to be such a cool little boy's room. However, I feel as though this Bible verse has held more meaning than I ever realized it would when I picked it out.

What first began as an awesome nursery theme has become my mantra. God is polishing my little man as we speak. He is making him stronger every day.

For those of you who do not know, I'm 31 weeks pregnant with him today and on this past Friday, I was admitted to the hospital because of a failing placenta most likely brought on by my chronic hypertension. Right now Elliot's heart rate is strong, but the doctors are saying it's just a matter of time before they start to see dips. When the dips become constant, they're going to take him out. They have no real way of knowing when it will happen, but their best guess is 1-2 more weeks. I'm on constant bed rest as they need to watch Elliot's heart rate continuously and they need my blood pressure to stay down. I see the perinatologist tomorrow morning, so hopefully we'll know more after she comes to see me.

The past couple of days have been a whirlwind. We obviously were not expecting to deliver our August baby in June as it is looking like. I was not expecting to be away from my sweet Adele for this long. I was not expecting to be hooked up to machines for an indefinite amount of time. The prospect of having a preemie is all so unknown and scary. But, as I mentioned earlier, his heart rate has already surprised a lot of people - but I know that's just God polishing him as much as he can.

A lot of people have asked what they can do for us right now, but all Justin and I really need during this time is your prayers. Please pray that Elliot stays in as long as possible. Please pray that Adele is OK without mommy for so long (and that mommy is OK without Adele for so long - trust me I've cried a lot of tears over missing that girl these past two days!) Also, Justin, my amazing husband, has shown me yet again what a strong man he is. I know this has been hard on him too. Trying to take care of me and Adele I know has been taxing and will continue to be so, so please say a prayer for him that he is able to balance it all in the coming weeks.

I'll try to keep everyone posted as much as possible. After all, I'm literally sitting here just waiting. You'll probably be hearing from me a lot!